Self-esteem

I would like to talk to you about a subject very close to my heart. A subject that many women are concerned about and that I, myself have lived through my whole life. I think this is a topic that deserves to be highlighted because it touches so many people. With my experience and hindsight, I can personally attest to this.

Self-esteem is so important in our life, much more than you can imagine. It affects more women than you think. I thought I had good self-esteem, but I really did not. It took a hard work and a long time to increase my self esteem and now, I am proud of who I am, I feel good about myself psychological, physical and social.

Why talk to you about self-esteem? I am a person who enjoys helping people. If I can help in any way, I will. Today, my goal is to give you useful information as well as tools to improve your self-esteem.

Did you know that self-esteem is an important key to our mental health?
And yes, the way we look at each other, treat each other, console each other and love each other has a direct impact on our mental health as well. Knowing how to appreciate and accept yourself for who you are is quite a challenge. This is why it is important to invest in yourself.

To get started, here are some definitions:

Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself, consciously or unconsciously, directly or indirectly.
 
Self-love is the positive feeling you have for yourself. It corresponds and makes it possible to satisfy the need to love and (above all) to be loved.
 
Self-confidence or self-assurance is the feeling of inner security you have in yourself.

Difference between self-esteem and self-confidence

The big difference between self-esteem and self-confidence is at the level of consciousness: self-esteem (regardless of level) is conscious, while self-confidence is unconscious.
 
The latter materializes through all the initiatives that you take in a more or less natural and spontaneous way. This is why others (especially your loved ones) are better judges than you of your self-confidence.

What develops self-esteem

The life experiences lived by an individual develops ones self-esteem. Positive experiences can encourage a positive outlook on oneself, and vice versa.

During the first years of a child's life, parents significantly influence the development of their self-esteem, whether positive or negative.

Having self-confidence can be learned, worked on and cultivated every day. It's not innate.

What are the components of self-esteem?

  • Self-confidence
  • Identity
  • Sense of belonging
  • Sense of competence
Having good self-esteem does not mean that you are a self-centered person and that you only think about yourself. It just means that we see ourselves as a worthy person who deserves both to take his place and to be happy.

The importance of developing and maintaining good self-esteem 

Maintaining your self-esteem is essential to maintaining good psychological health.
 
Good self-esteem:
1. Makes us less vulnerable to depressive states, anxiety, substance abuse, eating problems, emotional dependence, etc.

2. Will have a protective and self-healing effect by facilitating resilience in the face of difficulties that may mark our journey. A breakup, an illness, an academic failure will always remain difficult trials to overcome, but if we value ourselves as people, we will be in a better position to mobilize the necessary resources to recover.

3. Allows us to make the most of who we are in the present moment, based on our surroundings.

     
    This effect should not be underestimated: our well-being reflects on us, but also on others.

    Tips to improve your self-esteem

    1. LEARNING TO KNOW OURSELF
    Better we know ourselves, the more our self-esteem will solidify. List your qualities, your strengths, what you have learned about yourself in more difficult situations, your limits, what you like or your aspirations.
     
    2. LIVE NEW EXPERIENCES
    Develop new interests, get involved in various types of activities.
     
    3. SELF ACCEPTANCE
    Love yourself as you are, with its qualities and its faults, its strengths and weaknesses, it's joys and sorrows, at all levels (physical, mental, behavioral, etc.).
     
    4. DEVELOP YOUR SENSE OF BELONGING
    We need others to develop us, to recharge our batteries, to confront us, to achieve ourselves.
     
    5. SET GOALS
    A good way to realize your potential is to accomplish any challenge.
     
    5. TAKE CARE OF YOUR IMAGE
    Knowing how to show off yourself and having a good attitude is essential.
     
    6. DISMISS NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
    Spot every negative thought you have, and turn that thought into a positive. How does this review help me? Does it help me improve? Does it give me the confidence, the motivation to make certain changes?
     
    7. BE CARING
    Kindness doesn't have to be a privilege that you only grant to others! Give yourself compliments, highlight your accomplishments for the day, etc.
     
    8. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
    Take the time to have fun, do something you love.

    Self-acceptance

    We know we're not perfect, but we accept it. We do not constantly seek to be someone else, to do better, faster or more beautiful in order to “deserve” to be loved or to receive affection.
    Be yourself
     
    The belief, deep within us, that no matter who we are, what we do or what we go through, we deserve and we will always deserve to receive affection and love.
     
    There is therefore no point in trying to prove anything to others.

    When you accept yourself for who you are and truly love yourself, you don't desperately wait for someone else to give you the love you think you don't deserve when you lack self-confidence ( no loved one or romantic partner can compensate for a lack of self-esteem).
     
    On the contrary: when we accept ourselves as we are and have confidence in ourselves, we experience sincere love, in sharing and exchange.
    It is by loving ourselves that we are able to love others, because it is by loving ourselves that we are open and receptive to what the other has to offer.
    It is the essential condition for a balanced, healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    Learning to know yourself  

    Moreover, we will:
    • choose better friends / girlfriends, spouse
    • respect dissenting opinions
    • not feel attacked too easily or constantly questioning yourself
    • succeed in expressing more easily our feelings, needs, wishes
    • make choices that respect our values and assume them
    • assert yourself

    The importance of taking care of your image to regain self-confidence

    Your wardrobe is a true reflection of who you are.
     
    You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. 93% of our first impressions are non-verbal.
    The energy, the way we are and the clothing are part of a whole package that leaves the impression.
     
    It is often said that a career is determined
    • 10% by yield
    • 30% by presentation and image
    • 60% through contacts and relationships.
    It is therefore essential to know how to show off your style and have a good attitude. This is what will give you confidence.
     
    When we present a harmonious and positive image, our self-esteem increases. The better your self-image, the more confidence you will have.
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